


Nuisance

by phantomystery



Category: Slipknot (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Joey is a fuckin baby, Modern AU, No gender specified, Reader-Insert, Slipknot - Freeform, gender neutral reader, in the best way possible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:54:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28609383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantomystery/pseuds/phantomystery
Summary: Joey's a dumb fuck full of emotions and the urge to steal.One where Joey's a little punk gremlin and you're very in love with him.
Relationships: Joey Jordison/Reader
Kudos: 11





	Nuisance

**Author's Note:**

> What the fuck is this ?? More Joey ?? Yeah maybe.  
> Listen I'm not the best with fuckin' scenarios and I'm just a goblin running on 2 hours of sleep and too much fruit juice than a person needs.  
> ANYWAYS big 'ol shoutout to my best friend, love of my life, who talks about random what-ifs with me all the time and who 100% got my dumbass onto my laptop to write this shit. (Idk if I should put them on blast but you know who you are.)  
> So this is kinda sorta a modern alternate universe I guess ?? Idk man, but I definitely mention a phone and a laptop so.  
> Also don't ask "Why hotdogs??" because I Do Not Know, that's just how shit happened.

Joey's a fuckin' nuisance and just a bother. Dude sat on your guys' bedroom floor in front of a full length mirror to pierce his own ear with a fuckin' _safety pin._ He lives in some shitty place in Des Moines with, like, 5 other people cuz y'know. He's in his 20's and he works at some half-time job at the mall so. There's no paying for a whole house by himself. But it's whatever cuz he loves his roommates (and he loves you too. He wouldn't have met you if Hammer, one of your roommates who's got a deathhawk and like six girlfriends, hadn't introduced you two.) and he gets to do so much more shit that he wants to do when he's livin' life half-time. 

He says that atleast, like he can trick you or something. But you see the guy all day everyday and he does _jack shit_. Not that you're complaining cuz him and Hammer will leave for hours at a time and bring home some cool shit like a fuckin' papasan they found on the side of the road. It took you like 12 hours to fully clean the cushion from the thing while Joey and Chloe (Hammer's girlfriend of the month) stood in the doorway of the bathroom, while you washed it in the tub, eating ramen from plastic bowls. And Joey came up behind you every 20 minutes probably, kissing you on the top of your head or squeezing your shoulder saying some shit to you about, "You're a godsend, babe. Fuckin' love you." And you're telling him you love him back and squeezing gross ass dirt water from the fabric in your too-small bathtub. 

Joey's a great guy. He volunteers and shit and he sets up local food drive-by's cuz he knows what it feels like to be homeless and he wishes there was someone there for him when he was compromised like that so. He likes to help. He's kind; he always makes sure to hold your hand when you cross the street like it'll do something to save your life if you get hit. But he also does things out of spite or to fuel his out of pocket government conspiracies that never link up. And there's always holes in his dumbass theories but y'know. You listen anyways. 

One of these conspiracies include him saying that the hotdog prices being raised at the corner store have to do with, I don't know, fuckin' microchips or the president trying to tax everybody _but_ the rich. (Which if you listen while you're half asleep or stoned or some shit, he makes a little sense.) So the both of you walk to the gas station together holding hands and he's kicking rocks into the road and spitting every couple of minutes onto the sidewalk because he's fuckin' gross, and when you walk in you're greeting Jim who's behind the counter. (Cuz Jim's fresh out of college as of 3 years ago, so he's got a degree but he doesn't know what the fuck to do with life at this point so, the Chevron on the corner of 'Fuck' and 'Off' it is.) and Sid's there too because he's 19 and he doesn't do anything with himself except run his mouth and DJ in his free time so he's got nothing better to do.

Joey doesn't say hi to Jim _or_ Sid, he just wanders to the back of the store towards the refrigerators while you keep up conversation with the 2 guys at the counter. It's as small as small talk can be, but Sid's droning on about following some band coming through town on tour cuz he's convinced he can get them to let him do turntables and samples for their shows. It's a strange conversation, but it's a conversation nonetheless. And you're turning around to look when you hear Jim whistle and start shouting through the store,

"Joey, man! Put the fuckin' hotdogs down, dude. You can't keep stealing those things, it effects our registers and shit!" And Joey's looking like a deer in the headlights and then like he could care less all in the span of 2 seconds, and he's stuffing fuckin' hotdogs into every available pocket saying something like, "Who says?" and pulling a bag of chips off the shelf and paying for that just cuz he's a dick. 

Jim scans the bag with a heavy sigh, and Joey leaves the store before he can be lectured by the giant orc behind the counter. You feel kinda bad for Jim cuz you know Joey's a prick sometimes and you know he's annoying so you leave some cash on the counter to cover for the hotdogs and rush out after Joey. (And you make sure to tell him how much he sucks once he's holding your hand again.) 

And Joey sits at your feet while you're on the couch, parting his hair down the middle and giving him two French braids while he uses his bare hands to eat his stolen food. (Which you try to ignore cuz it's kinda gross because his hands are just nasty in general and he's got ketchup all over them so you just. Choose to ignore.) And Corey's over chilling next to you with his feet on the coffee table (even though you've asked him multiple times to _not do that._ ) and phone in hand when Joey starts discussing his "Hotdog Conspiracy" with him and Corey's like, "Oh yeah, totally dude! They do the same thing with cigarettes! Have you seen that shit?" So, that's fantastic. Now there's two of them. But it's tolerable and it's whatever, cuz you just know that this is how he is. How they are. He's a problem and it's cool cuz you love him and he really doesn't suck that bad. He's a good guy where it counts. 

Plus by the time it hits like, midnight most nights, you're both in your room and he lets you play with his hair because the man is basically a cat, and he watches some obscure random youtubers on his laptop to fall asleep. It's just a quick moment that always reminds you who he is and what he does and it's all slow motion-- Just a flash of what the true "at home" Joey looks like and it makes your heart pound. He's great like that, even when he doesn't realize. 

(You also make sure to apologize to Jim the next time you see him, cuz he comes over to the house and when he goes to the fridge for something to drink, Joey's left a Ziploc bag of _stolen fuckin' hotdogs_ on the bottom shelf and he bites his lip to stop himself from laughing. And Jim's just sighing as he grabs a can of soda and closes the door because _that's a problem for another fuckin' day.)_


End file.
